Sometimes I feel so vulnerable at the immensity of love. The idealistic dream to be part of a love story that you see in movies and TV dramas feels like it could be conceivable, but maybe I’m just too starry-eyed and something inside of me hopelessly wants to believe that it is possible to live happily ever after.
I am currently sat on a cross-country train returning from my old parental home (London) to my new home that I now share with my boyfriend (York). My boyfriend is lovely, but nowhere near as romantic as the perfect guys in all the movies. He has moments of romance, but these are extremely rare. During this journey, I have started reading the book ‘One Day’, and already the sexual tension and desire between the two main characters is overwhelming me. I spend my life longing for my fairy tale life where everything is effortless and perfect. In reality, I am unemployed with a temperamental boyfriend who has frequent flashes of jealousy and paranoia, but in all honesty, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. Our new life of living together has its ups and downs with me moaning about tidying and cooking and my boyfriend moaning at my lack of job (which I am desperately searching for in case you were thinking of me as lazy and inactive). My future is finally starting to take its shape one step at a time and as every day goes by I feel closer and closer to my own happily ever after, but will it be as perfect as I dream? Probably not, as life isn’t plain sailing as all the films make out, which is heart-breaking in a way as I know I am going to have to work hard for my happiness to continue to flourish as it is currently.
In chapter 3 of this book, (the chapter which fuelled the concept of this post) the male lead, Dexter, is travelling in India. He writes a letter to his friend, Emma, back in London telling her to leave her life behind and meet him in the Taj Mahal on his birthday at noon. He instructs her to take a red rose and her favourite book and he will be waiting with a white rose and another book which means a lot to the both of them. After drunkenly writing this letter of lust and longing he manages to lose it along with his book. These are found by another traveller who reads the letter and desperately wishes to send it to the girl, but there is no address. Twenty years later the book and letter are found on her bookshelf, untouched, and so never read by Emma.
After reading this, I felt devastated at the thought of Emma never receiving this beautiful letter and finding out his true feelings for her. I also felt a hint of jealousy at the fact that I will never receive a letter resembling this one. Why is it that I still yearn for love even though I have it? I cannot seem to get past the fact that my life isn’t as perfect as a fictional love story and I often find myself feeling disappointed after watching romantic films. The up-side is that every time my boyfriend shows a glimmer of romance, all my hope is restored in finding my happy ending.
One day…
Pretty Girl x
Pretty Girl 